It’s back to the same, only with a cigarette hanging out of my mouth. We’re just walking zombies at work, taking care of the almost dead.

Younger, wishing I was one of the out of reach girls. Hard, cold, not letting anyone get to me. I am, I really am that now. Look at me. I’m to myself, hold nothing close. Found some muscle to begin putting my face on again. If my eyes reach you, I am just contemplating my benefit.

Reeling from the ink dripping from my flesh. Certainly a comforting choice, to choose the pain before it picks you out. And what a crowd, winning the lamest lottery. Three plus one are eternity, don’t you forget that. Oh, right. Right, you already did.

I wanted to, but I couldn’t put myself directly out. Drove for miles and for days on all the empty and limited back roads. Parked in my mother’s driveway, turned right around. I never really knew if it was my deal, or where I came from. I only get warm when I drink or, when I am lying in the sun.

Map it out. No love, just a rich man. Getting some distance ahead. You will not get credit for my defeat, I’m alive. You run the most deadly risk, and you don’t know. My laughter is blooming, flowering, and coming from the darkest place. Always take advantage of a soft spot, you should. I saw your body laid out.

Trains are still my deep breath. Crossing and hearing them every single day, now. And the summer is wide awake. I hope it melts all of you, all of you I loved.

Seems so romantic, but romance is a dying art. I recall my winters, but one has been as lovely.

I can hear my mother coughing, I can hear so many sounds  I never wanted to hear. And why do I have sympathy for my father?

We have the same face and swagger. I am not on a team, just on my own side now. The new one knows not of this.

You couldn’t hold my hand in public. Warning sign, it stuck me so dead. Family.

I didn’t realize I wanted this, you had me there.